Hell, A Skit

(Inspired by Deadline by Randy Alcorn, page 338+)

Doc Aloud:

Hello?! Heelllooo…

 

Doc Voice:

Where is everybody? Where am I?

(Checks out hands and arms as though they are completely new)

I must be dreaming.  I haven’t felt this way in…ever.  No confinement, completely free, and relieved and liberated. 

(A thought suddenly strikes them)

I’m not…

 

Doc Aloud:

oh—my—….

 

Doc Voice:

I’m dead (in utter shock).  I, I was wrong. It doesn’t even make sense that we wouldn’t have a soul; that life would just cease to exist. Of course there’s life after death.  What was I thinking? People don’t die…just re-locate from one place to another.  People don’t just go from existence to non-existence. How absurd—how could I have been so blind, so arrogant. It’s like thinking that when someone leaves a room they simply cease to exist, instead of just entering another room. 

(Looks around)

I…I can’t be here. No I’m not here (closes eyes and opens again).   

 

Doc Aloud:

How could I have been so deceived?

 

Doc Voice:

Deceived…no…I knew…I just didn’t want to know.    

 

Doc Aloud:

It was my life!

 

Doc Voice:

I choose this.  What was it Finney had said… ‘The reason you don’t want to believe in a Creator is because then you’d have to believe in a Judge—and you don’t want to think you’ll be held accountable for how you’ve lived. But there is, and you will be.’  

 

Doc Aloud:

Who were you to preach at me? Where is everybody?

 

Doc Voice:

—‘I’d rather be in hell with intelligent people than in heaven with a bunch of Christians.’

—‘It’s heaven for atmosphere and hell for company.’

—‘I’d rather be anywhere with anyone than to be with a herd of narrow-minded fundamentalists and their narrow-minded God.’

(Flashback video. Doc watches.)

(Video: In a home, Doc sees a receipt for money given to a charity on a table)

 

Doc:

Don’t you know that money isn’t going to solve the problem? Those people are going to die anyway. You’re just prolonging their agony. It’s a foolish waste of hard-earned money.

 

Finney:

Well Doc I’m sure those people think their lives and the lives of their children are just as important as ours. All that I am and all that I have belongs to someone else. It’s His money, not mine, and I think that’s where He wanted me to put it. You call it foolish. I think it’s wise. I guess some day we’ll both find out who was right.

 

Doc:

Think about your own family. You could have given them a terrific vacation with that money. Or invested in a mutual fund that would help pay their way through college. And what about your retirement—are you going to have enough? Look, I appreciate generosity as much as the next guy, but let’s get real. You can’t save the whole world. Think ahead, for crying out loud.

 

Finney:

That’s exactly what I’m doing. You’re thinking thirty years ahead. I’m trying to think thirty million years ahead.

(Look from Doc)

I’m serious.

 

Doc:

That’s what scares me. There’s a place in the psych ward reserved in your name. They’re all serious, too. Have you considered therapy?

 

Finney:

You talk about foolishness. Foolishness is not planning for your eternal future. Jesus told about a rich man who stored up treasures on earth but didn’t prepare for eternity. And God said to him, ‘You fool, this night your life is required of you. Now who will get all you’ve laid up for yourself?’

 

Doc:

Not the church, if I can help it!

 

Finney:

Come on. Leave the church out of it. This isn’t about the church, it’s about you and God. I admire your accomplishments. You’ve worked hard, earned a lot of respect, a lot of influence, and a whole lot of money. I’ve been in your cheering section, you know that. But there’s a lot more to life than all that.

 

Doc:

Like what? Here and now is all there is!

 

Finney:

Do you really believe that? Come on. You’re more than an animal. You’re an eternal human being. You’re going to live forever. And what you do now has bearing on eternity.

 

Doc:

I don’t believe that for a minute. I reject it. So what do you say to that?

 

Finney:

Your rejection doesn’t change reality. You are who you are, and God is who He is. And He did what He did for you on the cross. Nothing you think or say will ever change any of that.

 

Doc:

I didn’t ask for anyone to go to the cross for me—I pay my own way. I don’t want your religion. It’s a pacifier for fools. And I don’t want any part of your God.

 

Finney:

I’d rather be judged a fool by you for the moment, than be judged by God a fool for eternity. Don’t say you’d rather pay your own way. You may get your wish. It’s called hell. God not being there is what will make it hell.

 

Finney:

 “Fool for eternity. Fool for eternity”

 (Back to the “present”)

 

Doc Aloud:

Where is everybody? Hello?  I’m here.  Where is here? What are the rules, the boundaries? Hello…anybody?

 

Doc Voice:

How could God do this to me? If God was a God of love, He would offer me a way out.

 

Doc Aloud:

Where are you now God? You never told me about this. Why didn’t you have somebody tell me?

 

Doc Voice:

But You did, didn’t You.  I didn’t want You. You seemed weak, and your followers weaker.  I wanted my own way.

 

God Voice:

I am the way, the truth and the life—no man comes to the Father but by Me. Neither is there any other name under heaven given among men, whereby you must be saved.

 

Doc Aloud:

No other way. God’s way or none.

Fine. Then none it will be! I will just make the best of this world. Anything is better than the alternative. No rules, no church service, no hypocritical evangelists, no pansy little angels and no interminable do-gooder boredom.

This can’t last forever anyway…

 

Doc Voice:

…could it.  It’s just the beginning, just a transitional phase, right? This can’t just be it…can it? What the hell…what a stupid phrase. I had a hell of a day.  Finney and I raised hell that weekend.   That wasn’t hell…this is hell.  My very first hour of hell, no calendar to tick off the days ‘til my time is over, not even a rock to scratch off days in the dirt.  How long until tomorrow, how long will tomorrow last…how long is eternity? Even if I could escape this place, what’s my alternative… Heaven? Ha. Rules, singing, constant self-righteous people—intolerable.  Even more intolerable than this place.

 

Doc Aloud:

The doors may be locked, but they’re locked from the inside! You want in God…you go through me first. I didn’t want you then, and I don’t want you now.

 

Doc Voice:

Where are the people Mark Twain had said would inhabit hell?  There are no great people here.  Nobody at all.  No one to commiserate with. Pity is the only desirable element of suffering….but this place has nothing desirable to offer at all.

My wish has been granted. The God I said didn’t exist; the God I didn’t want and didn’t need is now out of my life for all time.  Life, this isn’t life. There is only One in which life can be sustained…this is just existence…eternal death.

 

Doc Aloud:

(Grief, despair, turns to anger and rage).

How dare you do this to me! How dare you do this to me! I don’t want heaven’s selflessness. What could matter more than self, then me? It was my life, it was my choice! I’ll set my own ground rules. I’m in control

 

Doc Voice:

No I’m not. I had the opportunity to choose…and this is what I choose, and now there is no turning back.

 

Doc Aloud:

I hate You! I would spit in Your face, if I could do it without looking at You! Just looking at Your face would be hell in itself. If the door of Heaven opened, I would run from it. No existence here could be worse than the hell of being with narrow-minded Christians saying “I told you so.” Distraction. I need a distraction. Earth. Life. Life was good. Good things happened there.  I think.  I…well…I’m sure I got awards…maybe I didn’t. Why can’t I remember? Maybe it wasn’t so good. Think, remember.

 

Doc Voice:

There is no solace in memories, there is only now.

 

Doc Aloud:

Something else. Think of something else.

 

Doc Voice:

There is nothing. There is only timeless, unending aloneness. This eternal nothingness, eternal flame fueled by hate and bitterness and, bigotry—bigotry towards those I used to love calling bigots.

 

Finney Voice

 But the fact is, there is a God and you will stand before Him.

 

Doc Aloud:

NO! I will end this. I’ll just go to sleep. I will cheat death and hell!

(tries to sleep, gives up)

There is no cheating, no relief in this place.

 

Doc Voice:

There is nothing in this place. No water, no food, no company…no God.   I rejected Him on earth but still enjoyed His provisions. Now I’ve got my wish; the absence of God—and the absence of all He provides.

 

Doc Aloud:

No God—no good. Forever.

 

Doc Voice:

This is it. No story, no people, no travel, no movement. Just eternal boredom.

 

Doc Aloud:

(Desperate) God? I want in. (Angry realization) No!  No regret. No God hungering. This, this is life…or death. What is that? No, get away from me.  You are not here.  You stay away. Your presence is supposed to be a comfort, a joy, not wrath and judgment.  Get away from me.  (Tries to run away.)  Is it not enough for You to abandon me here? I hate You.  It is not enough for You to not be here, You need to cease to exist. You do not exist. I could endure this if You would just not exist.

 

Doc Voice:

Denial, it worked on earth, it made me feel better. It will work here too.

Doc Aloud:

There is no God. There is no God.

Doc Voice:

Of course it doesn’t work here. There is no spinning or twisting the truth here…the truth just is.  No end. No sleep. No escape.

 

Doc Aloud:

Why was I so sure about what I knew nothing about? Why was I so stubborn? So insistent on being my own god? I was a fool, am a fool, and a fool for all eternity.  No, no. I’m not a fool. Finney, they were the fools. It’s Finney, not me. Not me! Not me!

Deadline

 

 

 For more on Randy Alcorn's book, Deadline.