We have a friend who is considering being a surrogate mother and we have some concerns. Do you have any thoughts on this?
(All names and identifying information have been changed to protect the individual)
First of all, attention must be given as to how the fertilized egg would be implanted in the first place. It’s my understanding that not all of the fertilized eggs (babies) are implanted in the uterus. This would be unethical since human life is created but not given continued life. There is an aspect of invitro that doesn’t respect the fact that children are a part of marriage. To carry a child fathered and then mothered by someone else interrupts the sacred process of creation that God ordained. There are more than just sexual ethics at stake. Procreation is reserved for the marriage relationship.
It is God that opens and closes the womb. We need to be very careful to not toy with God and respect the fact that he is the creator of life. In scripture the same God that gives life also gives barrenness at different times. That is hard to understand and we have great compassion on those wanting to conceive, but we also have to recognize God is God and he is sovereign.
What statement would this make to her children, friends, neighbors, etc. How do you explain to her children “Mommy is carrying someone else’s child and we won’t be keeping the baby?” This could be very confusing to her own daughter if she has one (or may have one in the future) in terms of how she views marriage, childbearing, motherhood, etc. Surrogacy can seem utilitarian, pragmatic, functional, almost animalistic in its very essence. How critical is it for a couple to have their genetic identities passed on? Why not adopt a child that has no home? Adoption is a viable option for childless couples. It can be expensive, but it seems like surrogacy is more expensive.
Is there a place where one crosses the line related to life issues? Life belongs to God, not to us.
My opinion is that the arguments against surrogacy are stronger than the arguments for. God can provide children through adoption. We are adopted as his children and there is another way for a childless couple. I’m 99% convinced this would not be good, but became 100% convinced when I realized there was a good deal of money involved. In essence it is being hired as a human reproductive vehicle, paid to deliver a desirable product to a family as a result of a pleasurable, bodily function to human beings (sex).