What Should I Do If My Spouse Doesn't Want Me to Talk to Our Children about Heaven?

Question from a reader:

Ever since my children could talk, I have been instilling in them a joy and longing for Heaven. My daughter especially loves to talk and ask questions about Heaven. However, this is unsettling for my husband. He sees her longing for Heaven as something morbid. How should I balance my approach? I want to be sensitive to him but also instill joy and hope in our children, and answer their questions.

Answer from Chelsea Weber, an executive assistant to Randy Alcorn:

This is a difficult situation. Scripture says to honor, respect, and submit to your husband. But it also says that we should anticipate and long for Heaven. I would start with prayer and asking God for guidance. God is the only one who can change your husband’s heart.

I would encourage you to talk to your husband again in a respectful, humble, gracious way and simply share your heart with him. Ask him how he would like you to respond to your kids when they ask questions. Be careful about being defensive or preaching at him but instead think of coming alongside him. First Peter 3:1-4 says, “even if he is disobedient to the word, he may be won without a word by the behavior of his wife as he observes her chaste and respectful behavior… and let her adornment be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit which is precious in the sight of God.”

Maybe you could suggest spending some time looking at Scripture together to see what God’s Word says about Heaven. I'd also suggest getting one of Randy’s books on Heaven and reading through it with your husband. Or if your husband isn’t a reader, maybe he would be willing to talk to a pastor at your church or another godly leader about Heaven. Your willingness to work through this together before sharing with your kids would speak loudly to your husband.

Above all pray and trust God to bring a resolution to your hearts. If after all of this your husband still does not want you to talk to your kids about Heaven, it sounds like he would be ok with you talking to them about Jesus. The best part of Heaven is that we will get to be in God’s presence. Share the gospel with your kids, talk to them about having a relationship with Christ and what that looks like. Encourage them to fall in love with Jesus.

Chelsea Weber works at Eternal Perspective Ministries as Randy Alcorn's executive assistant. She is currently pursuing her MA in Biblical and Theological Studies at Western Seminary.