During my interview on the Building Excellence podcast, host Bailey Miles asked me, “What Does it mean to be a good husband and father?” Here was my answer:
Scripture makes clear that a husband’s first responsibility is to love and serve: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word” (Ephesians 5:25-26).
An unholy husband cannot lead his wife into holiness, which is exactly what God calls upon us to do in Ephesians 5:27-28. We are to follow the example of Jesus and do as He does, “to present her [his bride] to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies.”
Husbands, you didn’t make your vows to your boss or your buddies, but to your wife. The best thing you can do for your wife is to become more like Jesus.
Here are some resources on becoming a better husband:
- Biblical guidelines: What does it mean to be a godly husband?
- Six Tips for Being a Godly Husband
- The Five Priorities of a Godly Husband
- Seven Marks of a Godly Husband
- Bible Truths about a husband’s role and calling(more Scripture, more depth)
- From Gil Stieglitz, a short helpful outline of being a godly husband; includes mention of an online video course you could do, which would be good for you and would honor your wife’s wishes
- A book I recommend you get and read is Becoming a Godly Husband; it looks good and is written by the same person above, Gil Stieglitz
Parenthood is a calling, far more important than any vocation. When it comes to being a faithful dad, the best thing you can do for your children is to love God with all your heart, and the second best thing you can do is to love your wife with all your heart. Our children and grandchildren are an ongoing investment, a gift we leave to a world we won't be part of, but will impact for eternity through the generations that follow us. It takes only money to leave your children an inheritance, but it takes spiritual discipline, “a long obedience in the same direction,” to leave them a true heritage.
Here are some recommended resources on being a godly father:
- What Does It Mean for a Man to Lead His Family Spiritually? by John Piper (14 minute audio)
- 25 Ways to Spiritually Lead Your Family by Dennis Rainey
- 10 Promises for Parents by Kevin DeYoung
- Focus on the Family has a book titled The 21 Day Dad’s Challenge: Three Weeks to a Better Relationship with your Kids
- And here are some past articles from my blog related to fatherhood: Leaving a Legacy of Faithfulness: The Father as Model and Mentor, Advice for Dads Who Didn’t Grow Up with Role Models, The One Thing My Daughter Remembered Most About My Parenting, and Some Thoughts about Fathering (and Grand-fathering)
Finally, this video shows the impact of a father, investing in his kids even when he himself lacked a good role model:
