It Is Time to Take a Stand: Four Ways Christians Can Respond to the Same-Sex Marriage Debate

Summer 2004

Rosie O’Donnell, the former television talk show host turned gay activist, shared an interesting personal story with Diane Sawyer on ABC’s “Primetime Live.” Rosie told how her 6-year-old son, Parker, asked, “Mommy, why can’t I have a daddy?”

Stop for a moment and consider the implication of little Parker’s question. Here’s a boy who will never know the joy of being raised by a father. He’ll never experience a dad tucking him in bed at night, reading him a book, wrestling him to the ground, or tossing him a football. Why?

Rosie—and those who advocate the reckless move toward same-sex marriage—appears to be more concerned about a personal agenda rather than what is best for the child. Rosie’s son longs for a father but has two mothers instead.

Rosie’s response to her son’s question? She said, “Because I’m the kind of mommy who wants another mommy.”

Rosie’s gain is her son’s loss.

Tragically, America is standing on the threshold of raising a generation of children in same-sex homes where there will be either no father or no mother to love, care or provide a model for masculinity or femininity. This is indeed about “human rights”—a child’s “rights”. A boy and a girl ought to have “the right” to feel the whiskers of a father and the soft, smooth skin of a mother when he or she gets a good night kiss on the cheek.

The battle over same-sex marriage will redefine marriage and family and therefore redefine our nation. As the moral standard bearer of the culture, the Christian community dares not to be silent. We cannot abdicate our responsibility to be “salt and light” by allowing a vocal few to steam roll the masses. I believe now, more than ever, is the time for the church to let its light shine before men in such a way that they may see our good works and glorify our Father in heaven (Matthew 5:16). There are those who think this issue does not affect them or their families. This notion is unfortunately inaccurate. Let me give you just three examples how I believe life in America will change in the months and years ahead:

First, expect educators who will insist that the pictures in your child’s textbooks be changed to show same-sex couples as “normal.” Your child will likely be required to attend “sensitivity training” classes to relate to children who are raised in same-sex homes. I believe private schools will not be exempted from this process.

Second, churches and pastors will legally be restrained from taking biblical stands against the practice of homosexuality. Such prophetic pronouncements will be declared intolerant and discriminatory. There could be a day in the not-too-distant future when churches are forced to provide same-sex weddings.

Third, same-sex marriage will not be the last stop on this runaway agenda of those who would socially reconstruct America. As Americans adjust to the new reality of gay marriage, these social engineers will lobby for polygamy, group marriage, and open marriage.

At this rate, we are going to experience the deconstruction of the most basic unit of our nation—marriage. Dr. Carl Zimmerman studied the civilizations of history and in 1947 wrote a powerful book, History and Civilization. As a Harvard sociologist, his research documented that what took place in the family also impacted the civilization at large. When the family began to fall apart, that civilization unraveled. He noted that the last phase of a family was marked by sexual perversions of all kinds and a redefinition of marriage. This generally represented the final stage of societal disintegration.

We’re already seeing this downward spiral in Scandinavian countries. Marriage has fallen out of favor as a trusted institution. Statistics report that 60 percent of all the children being born in Scandinavia are born out of wedlock. These children will not know what it means to grow up in a home that has a mommy and a daddy in a committed relationship called marriage and family.

I confess, I used to be one of those who thought I wouldn’t see the deconstruction of the family in my lifetime. But after talking to a few friends across the country and taking the time to learn more about the issue, I can see the snowball is rolling downhill and picking up speed. This progression of a decomposing family structure will have a profound impact on my family and yours. There will be no escape for our children and grandchildren. Or you.

What are you going to do when your new same-sex neighbors and their kids begin to call your kids to come over and play at their house?

What will you do when the evening news shows two men or two women kissing, again as though it is normal?

What will you do when your child is forced to take classes that teach tolerance and acceptance of a wide range of alternate lifestyles?

What will you do when your daughter brings home a young man she’s in love with who grew up in a home with a lesbian couple? As a young man, how could he possibly know how to treat his wife? Now is the time for the Christian community to take clear, courageous action.

First, if you’re not fully informed about what’s happening, get informed today. In many regards, the battle for marriage has just begun. Learn how this watershed moment in our history is going to impact your children, your communities, and your nation.

Second, help educate others. We at FamilyLife have created a brochure that you can hand out to friends and insert into your church bulletin. The brochure explains God’s design for marriage and why the definition of marriage should not be changed. It also provides direction on how to respond to the same-sex marriage movement.

We have also provided a downloadable PDF file of the brochure on our website with printer-ready art that you can share with your pastor to put in the bulletin. Let me challenge you to download the information now, and take it with you to your church on Sunday and ask your pastor to use this information as a bulletin insert.

Third, pray. The message of the Bible from beginning to end has always been that our God is the God Who’s in charge. He is the Sovereign Lord of the universe. Isaiah 59:1-2 says, Behold, the Lord’s hand is not so short that it cannot save; Nor is His ear so dull that it cannot hear. But your iniquities have made a separation between you and your God, and your sins have hidden His face from you so that He does not hear.

As we pray, some of us may need to begin with a prayer of repentance over our attitude toward the sin of homosexuality and people who practice it. There has been hatred, anger, a failure to be compassionate, and a lack of proactive love in reaching out to victims of AIDS who are in the homosexual community. Ask the Lord for forgiveness and then ask Him to show us how to be compassionate and to love those who do not yet know Him.

Finally, we need to step up and stand for the truth. Isaiah 59:14-15 warns, Justice is turned back, and righteousness stands far away; for truth has stumbled in the street, and uprightness cannot enter. Yes, truth is lacking; and he who turns aside from evil makes himself a prey.

If we do not press back against that which is evil, and if we do not lovingly and compassionately confront the darkness with the truth, we (our marriages, families and children) will be preyed upon by the very evil that we were meant to conquer. Indeed, it is time to take a stand.

Will you join me?

(Used by permission of Family Life, a division of Campus Crusade for Christ. “Preserving The Family Brochures” [20 pack] can be ordered at the Family Life website, or call 1-800-FL-TODAY)


Websites Ministering to Homosexuals: (Desert Stream Ministries, ministering the life of Jesus to the sexually & relationally broken) (Restored Hope Network, restoring hope to those broken by sexual and relational sin, especially those impacted by homosexuality) (Living Hope Ministries, extending information and services to help understand homosexuality from a redemptive Christian Perspective) (Where Grace Abounds, guiding and supporting men and women who seek to understand sexuality and relationship and to inspire all people to know and personally appropriate God’s plan for their sexuality and relationships) (Setting Captives Free, providing Christ-centered hope and freedom) (Stephen Bennett Ministries, a pro-family organization led by a former homosexual)