I struggle with feelings that I cannot control and that seem unrelated to anything else in my life. I know I'm redeemed through Christ, but something seems to be terribly wrong with my soul because I repeatedly struggle with these horrible thoughts and feelings. What am I doing wrong that I feel this way, that I can't "think through" the feelings?
The people who know me don't really know me. By many I am probably seen as intelligent, talented, friendly and kind, but I feel very alone.
My heart goes out to you. One reason is because I can identify with some of what you’re going through. Earlier in my life I struggled with being overwhelmed by feelings— negative feelings—feelings I wanted to run away from which caused much confusion in my life. Even though I was a believer, I was enslaved to those feelings.
It was a process (isn’t that usually the way life works, through a process?) for me to grow through this and come out on the other side. I have read many books that have helped me in different ways through all the stages of my life and continue to do so, reading first and foremost God’s Word, of course. Here are a few that have been helpful:
Emotions: Can You Trust Them? by Dr. James Dobson
Self-Talk: Key to Personal Growth by David Stoop
When People are Big and God Is Small by Ed Welch
Feel: The Power of Listening to Your Heart by Matthew Elliott (This book is an interesting and thought-provoking read as it seems to contradict some of what I’ve read in the other titles above. However it offers some very good balancing insights into feelings and emotions, how God views them and how to benefit from them.)
Satan knows where your weakness is—being enslaved to your feelings. That’s been my weakness as well. He knows how to attack us, and he’s attacking you royally. You see, if he can keep you focusing on how you feel, it keeps you depressed and lonely and focused on yourself instead of God and others.
Have you read Randy’s book Lord Foulgrin’s Letters? It gives you a vivid picture of how Satan operates.
I would also recommend you pursue some counseling with a godly, Bible-centered counselor who will be able to help you work through these issues.
God will give you victory over this. Keep trusting and keep seeking and keep reading! God bless you as you experience the love and friendship of the Lord in the days ahead.
Kathy Norquist was Randy Alcorn’s Executive Assistant from 1997-2015, then worked in Ministry Development up until September 2018 when she retired. Kathy remains on the EPM Board of Directors.