Question from a reader:
I put my beloved cat to sleep after years of suffering from terminal cancer. I had him for over 20 years—I live alone and he was my dearest companion and precious friend. I loved him with all my heart. I don’t expect to experience that kind of bond again with another pet.
For the last year of his life he needed constant care. Finally, my vet told me that it was time for him to go to sleep, and so I had to have him euthanized, which I had said vehemently I would not do. I still don’t believe it was right for me to take his life. But he was so frail and really struggling. How can I forgive myself for putting him down? I’ve been struggling with grief and depression, and longing to go to Heaven so I can be with him. Reading your articles about pets and animals on the New Earth has given me great hope that I really could be able to be with him again, and that he will be a new creature, healthy and happy.
Answer from Stephanie Anderson, EPM staff:
Thank you for sharing about your sweet cat. My family has two ginger tabbies, and they bring us much joy. God is so gracious and good to entrust us with caring with these animals. The bond between people and their pets is special.
I’m glad Randy’s articles have been comforting to you. Did you also see this one and also this one?
Guilt is a common part of grieving, and it sounds like you are really experiencing that. You wrote, “I don’t think I will ever forgive myself.” I just want to encourage you to extend grace to yourself, and be gentle with yourself, knowing that you did the best thing for your cat, at your veterinarian’s advice.
Carrying the burden of guilt for this decision, which was made as part of stewarding your pet, can keep you from experiencing the abundant life God has for you. We should experience guilt for sinful choices (and even then, we are to take our guilt to Jesus so we can experience His forgiveness and peace). However, your choice was not a sinful one.
Having gone through the loss of an animal that needed to be euthanized, I understand that questions and doubts linger. Here’s what Randy has answered someone else struggling with this:
Many people are made to feel guilty because they love their pets so much. My take on it is that God intends us to love our animals—of course, not more than we love people—but still, they are to be precious to us. He understands and whenever His children grieve, He grieves with us.
The key is this: when the animal is suffering and you can sense they no longer are hanging on to life, you don’t want to let it go any longer. You need to step up and for your pet’s sake do the hard thing (for you) because it is the best thing for them. When you believe, as I do, that we’ll be united with our pets one day on the New Earth, it’s immensely comforting and helps to know that by putting them to sleep you’re not ending your relationship with your pet, you’re simply acting out of love, and relief and reunion await.
Your pet trusts you to do what is best for him or her. We should trust God as much.
I hope you can find comfort in that—that your cat trusted you to care for him and do what’s best, and you did. Even as you miss and of course grieve your pet, God wants you to trust that He has a plan for your life and that He created you to glorify Him in every season, including this one.
Randy wrote this in his Heaven book: “As long as God keeps you here on Earth, it’s exactly where He wants you. He’s preparing you for another world. He knows precisely what He’s doing. Through your suffering, difficulty, and depression, He’s expanding your capacity for eternal joy. Our lives on Earth are a training camp to ready us for Heaven. …When Jesus is done—not before—He’ll take you home in his own time and way. Meanwhile, God has a purpose for you here on Earth.”
May this season of grief press you even deeper into trusting Jesus and experiencing His steadfast love: “May your unfailing love be my comfort” (Psalm 119:76).
