Husbands, We’re Called to Help Our Wives Grow in Christ

Today’s blog will have applications for everyone, but I’ve written it specifically for guys who are husbands (and also fathers).

Men, one of the best possible things we can do for our wives and children (and ourselves!) is to share with them great resources to help them grow in Christ.

There’s a lot of stuff out there that isn’t going to draw you or your wife’s mind and heart toward God. Part of loving and leading her is pointing her toward things that will. The payoff is huge for her, you, your kids, and everyone her life touches.

Where I’m writing this in our living room, I see a stack of books by my wife’s chair, each of which she has recently read and has had a profound impact on her. The books include Knowing God, Trusting God, and The Joy of Fearing God. I gave or recommended each of these to Nanci (I’ve read them all, and that helps too). These books are arguably some the best gifts I’ve ever given her, and I also get to enter into the joy of her spiritual growth and her ever-growing excitement about her Lord.

Speaking of Nanci, and I will tie this into the subject of this post, thank you to everyone who has been praying for her as she has gone through cancer treatments. (She had her last round of chemotherapy a couple of weeks ago and now we’re awaiting test results; see her CaringBridge page for the latest updates.) Chemo’s not for sissies, and Nanci isn’t one, but she has needed me more than ever and it’s been my privilege to serve her.

Nanci and I had a great time in Psalm 16 recently, concerning verse 8, which says “I have set the LORD always before me” (ESV) or “I keep my eyes always on the Lord” (NIV). That’s followed by “With Him at my right hand, I will not be shaken.” We dialogued for forty minutes about the implications of our responsibility to set the Lord in front of our eyes by seeing Him in His Word, His creation, and people we connect with during the day. Only then will we experience the blessings and comfort and assurance of His loving presence.

So here I am writing about Bible study and our wives, and I saw God, in a powerful way, calm and strengthen and infuse my wife with joy from His Word in the midst of tough times. And I had the honor of speaking God’s Word into her life.  I believe this is what we see in Ephesians 5:25-26: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word…”

So we husbands are to not stand back and wish our wives were more godly. Rather, we are to assume responsibility to step forward and lead our wives by sharing God’s Word with them. (Similarly, we don't bemoan that a houseplant has shriveled leaves and consider it a failure; instead, we regularly water the plant and expose it to the right light to help it thrive.)

What follows in Ephesians 5:27-28 is that we are to do as Jesus does, and “to present her [his bride] to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies.”

Guys, this is what we are made for. I didn’t stand at an altar and vow to my publishers or my church “till death do us part.” And you didn’t make your vows to your boss or your buddies, but to your wife. So let’s follow the command in Ephesians 5 to love and care for our wives, including by getting good resources into their hands.

Here are some good places to check for Christ-honoring things to share with your wife:

Revive Our Hearts

She Reads Truth

Desiring God

- The Gospel Coalition


- Focus on the Family

- And here’s a list I put together of recommended books, blogs, websites, and software, with ideas for both men and women.

See also Randy's novel Courageous and the book The Resolution for Men

Photo by Cassidy Rowell on Unsplash

Randy Alcorn (@randyalcorn) is the author of over sixty books and the founder and director of Eternal Perspective Ministries