Marriage and Family

God built a desire for happiness into our children, just like it’s built into every person who ever has or ever will live. The important question is, where will they seek that happiness? Will they look for it in Christ and in living a life rooted in Him, or will they seek it in the world and its endless empty mirages?

I wonder what God wants you to learn about Him through this? You cannot change your husband as I’m sure you’ve realized after 50 plus years! But God can change you as you focus on His love for you and trust Him each day for what He brings your way.

At the end of the day we have neither control over nor responsibility for the choices our adult children make. We can only model good choices and live in a way that reflects Jesus. We can pray, we can love well, and we can trust our perfect Father for the outcome.

Nanci and I said to each other honestly, “We are different enough that if we didn’t have the Lord we might have divorced for irreconcilable differences.” But God reconciled our differences and made each of us better. And in time the differences weren’t irritating; they became endearing.

It’s wonderful your daughter has professed faith. I don’t think you need to stress about making sure she prays the sinner’s prayer again or pressure her to do so, since knowing Jesus is a heart issue and not a matter of saying particular words.

Recently a man in a struggling marriage asked me how to become a godly husband. My first thought was, “You’ve just taken the first step—knowing you need to be a godly husband and asking for help.”

Decisions about dating, and considering whether someone is a person you could commit yourself to in marriage, are tough. You really need the help of an older, wiser, godly mentor who knows you well and can talk these issues through with you. 

Nanci and I pray together every night at bedtime, with pretty much no exceptions. We both are in the Word during the day, but usually at different times and places. We seek to share what we’re learning, and it's rich when we do, but it’s also true there is nothing like devotions together as a couple.

I am basing my counsel to you on what you have told me: that your husband has confessed his adulterous affair to God and to you, has repented of his sins and placed his faith in Jesus, and desires to reconcile with you.