Question from a reader:

Randy wrote:

In the world to come, God won’t ever need to say no to us in order to use our sufferings to make us more like Jesus, because we will already be like Him. “Beloved, we are God’s children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is” (1 John 3:2, ESV).

Does this mean God didn’t bless my desire for children with my late husband because we weren’t sufficiently like Jesus, whereas all other couples whom he blesses are like Jesus and don’t need to be pruned? I am just seeking clarification for my hurting heart.

Answer from Eternal Perspective Ministries:

We are so sorry to hear of your husband’s passing and your heartbreak over not being able to have children together. It’s true that God is said many times in Scripture to be the one who opens and closes the womb, and who has exclusive prerogative over human life.

God uses our suffering in this broken world, in many forms (including infertility and grief), to conform us to His image and to cause us to place our hope in Him alone. Only He can bring beauty out of such ashes. But what you described almost sounds like a form of prosperity theology: “If someone obeys God and seeks to be like Him, He will give that person children.” From our limited human perspective, we truly can’t say why God gives one couple the gift of children and not another. Or why one person is called home to Heaven so young. All we can do is trust His reasons and that we will one day understand so much more about His wise purposes.

But here and now, we know it can’t be because He doesn’t love you (He has proven that definitively on the cross, and took your punishment for sin on Himself). We also know that He is good; He is wise; He is loving; He is gracious and compassionate (Psalm 86:15).

May His character and His love for you be your comfort and your solid rock in your grief.