Question from a reader:
After reading your book about what families are going to look like in Heaven, I didn’t hear anything about people who were married several times. What possible kind of structure in Heaven could there be for someone who has had several spouses? Two of my wives had previous decades-long marriages. If they and their children are very close as Randy states, what about me? How can I be that close to them if they have families from their long-term marriages?
Answer from Stephanie Anderson, EPM staff:
You asked, “What possible kind of structure in Heaven could there be for someone who has had several spouses?”
The answer is as true for you as it is for any of us—what awaits you in Heaven is a wonderful and amazing relationship and fellowship with Jesus, your Savior, and with all of God’s people. That will be your forever family in all the truest and best sense of the phrase.
Years ago, one of our EPM staff named Karen (a godly woman, now home with Jesus), wrote these words to someone wondering about family in Heaven:
Randy believes what the Bible clearly teaches: that there will be ONE family and ONE marriage—with Christ as the Groom and all believers, His Church, as the Bride.
God has very happy plans for you on the New Earth, as Randy explains in his video, “Will our relationships we have now continue in Heaven?”:
“We’ll meet many new friends, people that we haven’t known in this life…you may not yet have met the closest friend you will have ever have, the closest brother or sister as part of the family of God may be somebody that you won’t meet until you’re sitting at a dinner table. Christ will be in charge of the seating arrangements in the New Heavens and the New Earth, and there’s this great banquet where people come from the East and West…”
Just imagine that! Christ knows you inside and out. …And He is planning happiness and laughter and friends for you that will amaze and delight you for all eternity! Trust Him for that, because it’s the truth.
…How will you fare in Heaven? You will be eternally happy with more deep, true friends than you could ever count, part of God’s forever family, one of His well-loved children. I’m praying for you to really grasp the truth of the goodness that God has in store for you!
And Randy writes:
Jesus also said that those who follow Him will gain “brothers, sisters, mothers, children” (Mark 10:29-30). I think of this when I experience an immediate depth of relationship with a fellow Christian I’ve just met. If you weren’t able to have children on Earth or if you’ve been separated from your children, God will give you relationships, both now and later, that will meet your needs to guide, help, serve, and invest in others. If you’ve never had a parent you could trust, you’ll find trustworthy parents everywhere in Heaven, reminding you of your heavenly Father.
So will there be family in Heaven? Yes, there will be one great family—and none of us will ever be left out. Every time we see someone, it will be a family member! (Of course, we can be closer to some family members than to others, but there will be no rivalry or envy or grudges.) Many of us, myself included, treasure our families. But many others have endured a lifetime of broken hearts stemming from twisted family relationships. In Heaven, no one will cause anyone else pain. Our relationships will be rich and harmonious.
Randy writes in a Q&A:
One of the things that I emphasize to people is that I think we miss something when we say there’s no marriage in Heaven. The Bible does not teach there is no marriage in Heaven. The Bible teaches there is one marriage in Heaven: Christ married to His bride, the Church.
That means that if your wives here on Earth knew Jesus, as well as their families, then they will be part of the same marriage to Christ and all part of the same family in Heaven as you. It’s hard for us to wrap our minds around how those relationships will all work out, and we don’t know all the details about what our lives will be like. But we do know that Heaven will be fullness of joy (Psalm 16:11), and we will be completely happy, and with our Savior and those who love Him too. There won’t be any loneliness, regret, feelings of disappointment, or insecurities, nor will there be any experience of being left out or hurt, etc. because we will be in a completely sinless environment.
I would encourage you to bring your concerns and fears about this to the Lord, and to ask Him to give you peace and joy as you contemplate what being in your forever home will be like. “I sought the LORD, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears” (Psalm 34:4).
I hope this encourages your heart. Psalm 31:19 says, “Oh, how abundant is your goodness, which you have stored up for those who fear you.” It really is so amazing to think of all the good things God has in store for us on the New Earth, the eternal Heaven. He is so good!
