By God’s grace, Nanci and I found we could give away my book royalties and a good portion of our discretionary income, yet still have breathing room for legitimate recreational spending (and what we kept still left us wealthy in comparison with most people in the world). As I say in Money Possessions and Eternity, it’s not what you give but what you keep that determines your lifestyle, but giving away a lot helps what you keep not to become your idol or to rule you. Things have mass, mass has gravity, and the fewer things we have means greater likelihood that money and our possessions will not hold us in their orbit.
Over the years, we spent reasonable amounts of money on vacations that weren’t “necessary” but served to renew us. Whenever possible, we kept costs low by staying at friends’ places and using frequent flyer miles. Yes, those vacations weren’t essential, yet they contributed to our physical health, and mental and emotional refreshment. I do not regret them; I am thankful we had those times together.
I think that as believers, we should be wrestling with our own wealth in this materialistic, wealth-centered culture and seeking to give more. We shouldn’t assume that just because God has entrusted all this to us, He intends for us to keep it.
Nanci and I sought to not take vacations at the expense of giving generously to God’s Kingdom. Years ago, when our girls were 8 and 10, we received a large book royalty check. In those days, a few checks were coming in, but they were usually pretty small. This one was an exception. As was our custom, we sat down with the girls to discuss the options for what to do with the check. One was a vacation for a couple of weeks in Hawaii, which at the time was a place they’d never been. Another option was to give the money to an upcoming offering at church to fight famine in a very needy part of the world. Nanci and I were touched that the girls didn’t even have to think. They said right away that they wanted to put the check in the offering, and were delighted to give the money away.
One of the blessings that came later was the gift of a free place to vacation in, of all places, Hawaii. Thanks to generous friends, we were able to take the girls there every few years when they still lived at home. And thanks to these same friends, Nanci and I enjoyed many great times on Maui, including three trips there during her four years of cancer. She called Maui her “Happy Place,” and when God chose not to heal her despite our continuous prayers for healing, we trusted Him and realized she would soon be going to her true and eternal Happy Place. I stay at the same place owned by our same friends to this day, for wonderful writing retreats on which I also get lots of time in the water snorkeling, which is not only fun, but sheer worship to explore God’s undersea handiwork.
The danger of me telling this story even now is that it could sound like “because we chose to give to that offering rather than go to Hawaii, God paid us back by giving us many vacations in Hawaii.” But there is no magic formula! God does not owe us paid vacations because we give. It doesn’t work that way. But to Nanci and me, it was nonetheless noteworthy that the very place the girls and we chose not to go so we could instead give to the desperately needy was the exact place God gave back to us many times over. He owes us nothing, we owe Him everything, yet His kindness and generosity are astounding.
By embracing lifestyles that free up money, we can invest in helping others and furthering the progress of the gospel. A vacation can be wonderful, but it is by nature short-lived. Investing in eternity, by contrast, will pay off dividends in the life to come. And yet, we have to be careful to avoid asceticism, believing that money and things are evil. The biblical view is that God has provided for us in His creation a wealth of pleasures and comforts He desires us to enjoy, to His glory: “So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God” (1 Corinthians 10:31).
Notice the underlined clause God places in the middle of 1 Timothy 6:17-19:
Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share. In this way they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is truly life.
Surrounded by verses commanding us to give, God tells that He “richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment”! Wow. This is not asceticism. God wants us to enjoy His rich provision, while simultaneously giving generously for the good of others!
When we worship God as God, everything else falls into place—and vacations, hobbies, sports, music, and entertainment can all enrich our lives as intended. (Unfortunately, because we’re fallen creatures and don’t see clearly, we can focus our lives on otherwise legitimate pleasures, turning them into idols. And some “pleasures” and entertainment are indeed harmful and addictive.)
So how do we find the right balance between how much we give, and how much we keep to use for our family’s needs, as well as for God-honoring recreation and enjoyment, like vacations? I believe the tension reflected in that question is healthy. As we continue to grow in Christ, we prayerfully evaluate and seek God’s guidance. But may we always be determined to follow His lead as best we can discern it. And meanwhile, we should be careful not to judge others, and imagine ourselves better than they are because of our different lifestyle choices.
Julia Stager Mayo, a beloved former EPM staff member and research assistant, offered these helpful questions to ask in evaluating whether to spend money on a vacation:
Is the purpose of the vacation to:
- Get away from day to day life to rest in and refocus on God?
- Learn things that will draw you closer to God?
- Grow relationships with family or friends?
- Experience God’s world in a way that will lead you to worship Him?
Or is it to:
- Show-off your wealth and ability to travel to friends/family/co-workers?
- Escape from your problems at home instead of addressing them?
- Satisfy a fleeting or impulsive desire?
Some more questions to ask might be:
- Will this vacation put you in tempting situations?
- Is this experience focused on gratifying only your flesh or also your spirit?
- Are there ways these same things could be achieved at a lesser cost?
- Will spending money on this vacation decrease the money I would have given to my church, missions or others in need?
- After praying, reading the Bible and discussing the matter with trusted and mature believers does it still seem like a good idea?
I like what John Piper writes: “Plan your vacation so that it really gives rest and spiritual renewal.” Anticipation of an upcoming vacation or adventure can bring us delight even in the midst of busyness and fatigue. And on a larger scale, God’s assurance of our never-ending happiness in His presence, on the New Earth, should front-load Heaven’s joy into our lives today!
Now that Nanci is home with Jesus, there is such delight in remembering the things we did together all over the world with each other and our children, including the wonderful vacations and missions trips and the ways we served the Lord, gave to God’s kingdom, and invested in eternity together. There is joy for me both in recalling past special memories, and in looking forward to life with Jesus and all who love Him, in the New Heavens and New Earth where God’s wonders and gifts to us will never cease. And always, He will not only be the greatest Giver, but also the greatest Gift!
Finally (and this is a postscript), some will be interested in the fact that years ago in an episode of “The Elephant Room,” James MacDonald and Mark Driscoll took on David Platt, and MacDonald accused him of adhering to “poverty theology.” Then he named John Piper, Francis Chan, and me as embracing the same, which is simply and obviously not true to anyone who knows us. My response to a question about it is here, in which I lead by saying “Well, first of all, I will gladly go down on a ship any day with John Piper, Francis Chan, and David Platt.” Note also an interesting dialogue with David Platt from just last year about that Elephant Room program.
