In this video I share some advice for couples who are engaged:
Certainly, any engaged couple should talk to older and wiser people who have been married a long time. I think that is just huge. If you only talk to other people who are in the same season of life as you are, who maybe have experienced dating but haven’t experienced marriage or at least not a very long marriage yet, you’re going to get different perspectives. I think people who have been married for years have very valuable insights. So by all means, talk to other godly people.
Read good books. There are a lot of great books on marriage. Listen to Focus on the Family’s radio program and Family Life Today. These are programs that have a lot of marriage and family-related insights.
Go to one of the Weekends to Remember from Family Life Ministries, which they have for engaged couples as well as for married couples. They can help you be prepared for marriage.
I would really encourage people to ask honest questions of each other. Get to know each other now. There are people who have been married for a few months and one of the things they say in all honesty is, “I had no idea my spouse thought that. I had no idea they believed that. I’m finding this out now for the first time.” Talk these things through now. Really work it through, and pray it through.
Marriage is going to bring a lot of surprises. But don’t make it bring more surprises than it needs to. Talk it out. Think it through. Pray about it. Get wise counsel from people in advance.